I grew up in church. Each week I sat and heard the story of God’s grace portrayed throughout the bible. I was privileged—privileged to live in a place where the gospel could be freely shared, privileged to be a part of a family that made God a priority in their lives, privileged to receive a constant invitation from Jesus.
But I couldn’t see any of that, so I would count down the minutes until church would end. I would just sit waiting to get to the things that I thought were more important—things that now seem so silly.
I spent years filling my time, fulfilling my selfish desires. Soon my heart grew dull to the things of God. The invitation that was waiting for me each week suddenly felt unavailable. I felt so far from God. I felt stuck in a life that I never meant to chose. I felt completely undeserving of anything that God had to offer.
But at 19 years old, God extended his invitation to me again. This time I wasn’t in church. In the past, I felt like I could do this at anytime, entitled to interact with God on my terms. This time was different. I was sitting alone in my dorm room. My heart was so broken and for the first time, I could see how undeserving and desperate I was for God. I could see clearly how the life I built for myself paled in comparison to what God was inviting me into. I could hardly fathom how God would leave room for me after years of leaving none for Him.
I was both the one so privileged and the one so undeserving, and yet he saved a spot for me. I chose to say yes to Jesus and now I can think of no greater way to spend my time than discovering all that His invitation holds for me.